A would-be romantic holiday turned into a violent break-up.
I'll be honest with you: we beat each other up.
Like savage creatures in the night, he wanted to hurt me, and I him.
It became the most disturbing and eye-opening experience of my life.
I knew, then and there, I needed to walk away. I needed to take a good look at my life and the shadows that seemed to be gravely distorting my reality.
Within minutes of parting ways , I found myself in a Oneness experience which I still can't fully describe in words. As I walked away from him on the beach, everything slowed down and I became paralysed, unable to move at all.
Sensations I had never before encountered flooded my body. The limits of my physical body began dissolving, and I found myself merging with everything around me: the sea, the sky, the dry rolling hills.
As I emerged from this experience and returned home, I knew my life had changed forever.
I found tantra.
I turned to Tantra for answers. I was keen to unearth the murkiness that was affecting my relationships.
I was quickly inspired to go deeper, and enrolled in a 1-year training in Berlin.
My motivation was simple: I wanted to find love.
I ended up finding Oneness.
Alongside Tantra, I began exploring somatic movement therapy.
This lead me to learn about the mystery schools of Ancient Greece and Egypt and their practices of death/birth.
At the end of the 1-year training, we were guided into a deep-dive process in which we spent three full days and nights in complete darkness.
Our somatic elements of breath, sound, movement, and touch allowed us to drop below our stories, narratives, and limited patterns for extended periods. In this space, radical transformation occurred.
I entered the process a broken man: Carrying the weight of a $500000 debt from a failed business, and no one to blame but myself.
I found answers in places I would never have expected. I met my shadow and was forced to stare it straight in the eyes.
I received visions and hallucinations, including desert nights and fiery, flaming demons.
I was visited by experiences from this life and previous ones.
I emerged a transformed man, bearing new abilities to transcend the layers of illusion that kept me from my truth.
I moved from the brink of bankruptcy to being financially independent in a short period.
Everything moved at lightning speed.
My newfound freedom brought spaciousness to my life.
Guidance began to appear, as well as the courage to follow it.
An incident that began in a temple in Bangkok was pivotal.
I found myself starting to move and chant uncontrollably.
For hours, I was lying naked in my hotel room, my body trembling, writhing, my limbs flailing like an octopus.
I later understood that I had gained a new access to a greater realm in the unseen.
For the following years, I journeyed from Mongolia to Brazil, Kilimanjaro to the Yucatan.
I held ceremonies, connecting to other humans, land, shamans, and spirits.
Most importantly, I was awakening new facets of myself.
Along the way, I met Kenneth Ray Stubbs, formerly known as the Sexual Shaman, who had been practicing erotic massage since 1965 in San Francisco.
He became my mentor, and for years I explored new conceptualisations of Tantra and the Orgasm, which have formed the foundation of Orgasmic Shamanism.
I spent years diving into the various practices I had learned from my mentors.
Elements of somatic movement, shamanism, and Tantra began to interweave together.
I spent hours every day on the floor scribbling in notebooks while immersed in energy work, spontaneous movement, and self-pleasuring.
I would take my learnings to small gatherings of participants.
For years I worked with mixed-gender groups, usually fully-clothed.
For a long time, I resisted being too explicit.
In 2019, in the depths of a 48-hour deep dive, the invitation came to enter a more explicit expression of this work.
I broke up my relationship when my partner asked me to choose between him and my work.
When the pandemic broke out in 2020, everything changed.
Working online enabled me to gather with men from all over the world. I felt a new excitement for this work, and more importantly, I said "Fuck it" to the shame and inhibitions that remained.
I made the decision I would no longer hold back my truth.
Today my work is unapologetic, simultaneously subtle and explicit, supportive and radical.
I work with men to explore every aspect of their lives.
Together, we explore their darkest shadows and most shameful fantasies and learn to make space for their highest gifts to emerge.
The practice of Orgasmic Shamanism emerged as a result of exploring Shamanism, somatic movement therapy and tantra.
It is also a Mystery school practice. Mainly attributed to the Ancient Greeks and Egyptians, the mystery scool is a gruelling and process of radical transformation.
It is based on awakening the true self by connecting with the greater realms of the unseen, the cosmos.
All the workshops, sessions, retreats, trainings all work within a 5-stage framework:
Stage 1- Discovery: The discovery that our body is our tool to access great transformation by connecting us to oneness.
Stage 2- Initiation: After this discovery, we then find ourselves able to face our demons, our shadow, every area of our life that is seeking resolution.
Stage 3- Awakening: This is the awakening of a higher power within. It also involves the realisation of the uniqueness of our essence.
Stage 4- Embodying: We then embody and harness this higher within ourself and feel its medicine.
Stage 5- Integration: We then embody and harness this higher within ourself and feel its medicine.
Today my work is unapologetic;
simultaneously subtle and explicit,
supportive and radical.
I work with men to explore every aspect of their lives.
Together, we explore their darkest shadows and most shameful fantasies and learn to make space for their highest gifts to emerge. At times, we sit in the stillness of the eternal void and let the energy transmissions do their job.
Everything I do aims to help people connect to their truth by engaging with the oneness within.
Whether someone is a beginner, an experienced practitioner, a facilitator in training, or an advanced therapist, this work is about allowing them to be who they truly are; to engage with the flow of life;and to bring forward their highest gifts in the most effortless way possible.
The world is changing rapidly, and we humans are being asked to change with it.
Who will you be?
So many are telling me they feel a calling to a new type of work, either as a therapist, facilitator, or coach.
I always recommend the following:
To begin by making space in our life to receive inspiration.
It is seeking us.
Once we begin to receive the invitations, we need to trust them and follow our impulses.
We must face our fears and "do it anyway."
So what about you?
What is your story?
If this resonates, I would love to hear from you.
You can also check out my workshops, videos and courses for more.
Intensive online courses , life-changing retreats, intensive trainings and intimate in-person workshops.