We’re seeking safety. Safety and sexuality are directly interlinked. Early—humans and pre-humans decided who they mated with depending on how safe they felt. For men to have an erection, we need to feel safe, our nervous system needs to regulate. Having worked with clients fantasies for years, I have seen that most of the time, in our sexual fantasies, we are also seeking safety. But when we fantasize about being bound, rạped, or other actions that might seem unsafe, for instance, ...
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We are here for love What do I mean when I say that we are here for love? I believe that the universe is experiencing a massive evolutionary process which began billions of years ago and that will continue for billions years more. I believe humans incarnated because we had an important role to play in this evolution. Only humans have the ability to experience circumstances and emotions in the way that we do. To feel pleasure, pain, pride and shame, as we do. I believe each of us is here ...
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LOVE ❤️ I learned about love by sitting with fear. It came as a medicine for it, as a response to the fear, anger, rage I was experiencing at the time. I learned in that moment that love is a force that could not be expressed in words or understood by the mind. Love is a force of nature that can be felt in the body, somatically and energetically. But love is not a polarity. It is not the opposite of hate, or fear, but rather a medicine for it. As a neutral force, it is the universal ...
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As a teacher’s teacher, one of my favourite things is inviting people to know their power. To become aware of the benefits of their presence in this world. What changes do you bring to the lives of others? What are the benefits they experience? This exploration can be radical in a world where we are invited to “be careful not to toot our own horn” or are often asked, “Who do you think you are?” So yes, it requires us to live differently from the world around us and land into a different ...
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MEET YOUR EDGES I edited this 5 min video from a call I recently hosted regarding my upcoming Medicine of Eros retreat. Check it out, I hope you like it. The jist of it: Sexuality-based practices are not just about having a pleasurable experience, but about becoming a different person in the world in every moment, every day. They can take us on a wild ride from one end of our being to the other. They invite us to meet our edges: our shadows, our power, our shame, our pleasure. ...
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Heal play grow - With kink and BDSM I see it over and over again, The way that sexual fantasy play, especially including elements of BDSM and kink, can be extremely healing and powerful for people. This is because what happens in our sexuality reflects what has happened in other areas of our lives, and what happens in our sexuality also affects other areas of our lives. I see people, even very experienced facilitators, feel unable to be seen in their desires, express their needs, and be ...
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I have a theory that sexuality-based practices may have been the earliest form of trauma therapy we utilised. 35000 years ago… Some of the world's oldest drawings (over 35000 years old) found in caves in South Western France show images that may suggest this. In some of them, we see a shaman lying back with an erection with animals around him, which might suggest he might be taking people on a healing journey with sexuality. (Animals were symbolic of the shamanic journey through altered ...
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Shamanism is powerful work. It connects us to the power of Source within us, allowing us to connect more to our truth. We heal, grow and thrive. Things get even more interesting when this power is applied to a specific area of life that needs it. One of the areas I work with a lot with clients is our relationship to our penis. This work can include exploring erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, etc. While there are many ways to approach these topics, I tend to ...
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When I first was told I was a shaman, I didn't know what a shaman was. I pictured a man with a long beard and thick necklaces around his neck playing the drum and holding a cane. I pictured an elder of a specific tribe who had been groomed his whole life for the role. When the universe flung me into my first shamanic journey in Brazil in 2015, I realised there were many types of shamans, many of whom look like every-day normal folk. You wouldn't bat an eye-lid if you saw them in the ...
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Some people seem to have been born with special superpowers... They seem to live more like deities embodied in human form rather than like other “normal” humans. The Dalai Lama, a shaman, a child chosen at the age of three to be the rinpoche of a Buddhist monastery, might appear to live with greater ease or connect to a “greater power” more effortlessly than the rest. I call them Energy Beings. An Energy Being is a person who is energetically developed. They have achieved a certain ...
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THE MEDICINE OF SEX Exploring the healing power of kink, desires, fantasies & taboo. Using sexual play, fantasy, and kink as a healing modality is an extremely radical practice. It's a therapeutic process at the intersection of two themes: psychology, sexology, which is often pragmatic and clinical, and kink/ BDSM, which is usually considered deviant, dark, and transgressive. Through kink fantasies and sexuality, our soul is speaking to us. It speaks about what it yearns for, what ...
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We heal by transmission. The absolute best piece of information I ever learned about trauma-healing in the 13 years I have be involved in this work can be summarised in under 10 seconds: Our ability to support others in healing their trauma 100% depends on our relationship to our own trauma. This is because real healing happens by transmission. Transmission is a communication between two systems (like a human being for instance….) that is beyond the understanding of the mind. In the realm ...
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What are we healing? I always talk about the healing power of sex. But what exactly are we healing? Very often, we are talking about trauma. I see trauma as a disconnection from the self, that results from having faced circumstances that we didn't have the resources for at the time. Whatever we experienced was simply "too much". As a result, a self-defence process begins that might be trapped in the body and looking to complete. These past experiences will often show up in our sexuality ...
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Instant gratification vs long-term satisfaction. On Friday I hosted a Zoom call and Q&A on radical sexual empowerment. I spoke about sexual power, eros as a connector to source and also about some of the things that stand in the way of our sexual power. These include sexual dysfunctions, body dysmorphia, addictions etc. One participant asked the following question: "How do I explore my relationship to the disconnect that relates to instant gratification?" I love this topic. So I decided ...
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Sacred Intimacy is a vocation. Sacred Intimacy is a vocation that finds you. And when it finds you, all you have to do is listen, and it will show you the way. The sacred intimate is a modern adaptation of two, more ancient and radical archetypes: the sex shaman and the sacred prostitute. The two have a lot in common. Mainly, they both bring healing to others through the sexual act. The path to being a sacred intimate has 3 parts: 1- One must actively find their connection to source, to ...
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Dear facilitators, This is for you. A new 8-day training in Costa Rica. (+ a video + other upcoming events below ↓) One of my favourite parts of my job is working with people who are wanting to become facilitators, or facilitators who are wanting to develop new skills. I love watching people discover themselves, their power and medicine, and I especially love watching them step up to share that medicine with others. Especially when sex is involved. The idea of not only un-shaming ...
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Shame is an invention. We invented shame, we can also dismantle it. Unlike joy, anger, fear, It doesn’t exist in nature. It’s manmade, it’s an illusion. This is why it varies from person to person. What is shameful to one person is not shameful to another. As we created it, we can also dismantle it. One of the ways we do so is by exploring the truth behind our fantasies. I am always saying that our sexual fantasies are not what we think. In fact, the underlying desire often has very ...
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This short video is a quick intro on the importance and power of exploring our desires.
It's significant that the etymology (root of the word) 'desire' means: "Await what the stars will bring".
Our desires and fantasies show us parts of ourselves that are hidden and dormant.
They show us what we resonate with, they show us our essence and our medicine.
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Sex Shaman, Sacred Prostitute. What do they have in common? When I first was told I was a shaman, years ago, I was confused. I had always imagined a shaman as an old man, with a long white beard and intricate costumes and accessories who had been born and raised by a tribe in the forest or jungle. I had also imagined they had spent decades being groomed to conduct ceremonies that included animal sacrifices and calling in the four directions. Then on my first mission in Brazil in 2015, I ...
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Sex Shaman, Sacred Prostitute. What do they have in common? When I first was told I was a shaman, years ago, I was confused. I had always imagined a shaman as an old man, with a long white beard and intricate costumes and accessories who had been born and raised by a tribe in the forest or jungle. I had also imagined they had spent decades being groomed to conduct ceremonies that included animal sacrifices and calling in the four directions. Then on my first mission in Brazil in 2015, I ...
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Our fantasies are not what we think... What gets us hard and wet, can show us our greatest creativity, and also be a tool to help us heal and become more whole. Over the years I have seen fantasy-work be eye-opening, showing us new parts of ourselves and even healing shame and trauma patterns that are decades old. Undoubtedly, the most popular fantasy I have worked with is the Daddy Fantasy. The magic happens as we find out What are we seeking from in this fantasy? What are we nourishing ...
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Ecstasy & Agony. What is Tantra? Kenneth Ray Stubbs and Marc Peridis speak. Tantra is a loaded word I have definitely had a love-hate relationship with… mainly because of all the misconceptions that limit its potential. So when legendary author and teacher Kenneth Ray Stubbs, who has been involved in tantra for almost 50 years, asked me to sit down and chat for a podcast episode titled "What is tantra?" I couldn't say no. The gist it? Tantra is not just a practice of conscious sex, ...
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How many times have you died? This may sound like a strange question, so let me elaborate: I am not talking about a physical death, but rather a conceptual one. It’s a death of the “self”, mainly the system of ideas, beliefs and narratives that we allow to define and limit us. As a result, we heal, we grow and can be more connected to truth. As this death takes place we a rebirth then happens, and we are more connected to our truth. So how how exactly do we die? If you have been watching ...
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THE MEDICINE OF EROS Eros is the process that creates all life. that brings the formless to form It is also a process of death that brings form to formless. The orgasm is an occurrence of Eros that reconnects us to it. This is why for hundreds of years we have referred to the orgasm as petite mort, little death. It is a death of the self, allowing us to expand beyond the limited ideas of who we think we are. We awaken the medicine of eros. We heal We grow. We become free We create life. ...
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“Great spiritual teachers throughout the ages have stated that orgasm is the closest some people come to a spiritual experience because of the momentary loss of self. Why is this true? Because with spiritual sex, you move beyond orgasm into a connection with yourself, your partner, and the divine — recognizing them all as one.” ― Alexandra Katehakis THE MEDICINE OF EROS For that one short moment of orgasm, usually lasting 10-20 seconds, we no longer identify with our stories, our patterns ...
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The Medicine of Shamanism The word Shaman comes from the Tungusic word šamán, possibly from Eastern Siberia, which means “the one who knows.” The knowingness we refer to here is not one of traditional knowledge, information or wisdom, but rather a knowing of oneness and the non-local. The non-local is defined by quantum physics as the part of our universe which can’t be touched, measured, understood. It holds the force behind the creation of the of all of existence as well as the blueprint ...
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SOMATIC MOVEMENT THERAPY For me, Somatic movement therapy is a healing method that allows us to find wholeness in the body. We know that everything that exists in our body exists in our consciousness as well, and vice versa. A whole body therefore supports a consciousness in which I am at one with myself, with others around me and with all of existence. I found that the journey to find wholeness often begins by looking at the parts of ourself that are divided and unintegrated. Trauma, ...
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Hanging out in "The Field" I often talk about diving into “a space deep below”. …Below the over-active mind, …Beneath our stories, narratives, cultural conditioning, …Beyond our illusions and limited ideas of who we are. Science (via quantum physics) refers to this space as the “non-local”. I call it “the field”. It is a potent void where everything ends and everything begins. It is the land of total absence, beyond any ideas of time, space, good or bad. Last week I wrote about this ...
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EXPLORING THE VOID Part 1/2 There’s a universe called Absence. Its waves break on the shore of existence. Jump right into that wave. You’ll see your candle light up all the other candles and its light will mix with the light of all the great luminaries The wave of the sea carries you to just such a place in the land of Absence, Where it breaks the ties of your soul, from everything you’re attached to. Only in the land of absence, can you discover your absolute being. You’ll become the king ...
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The land whispered. Mahalo. Aloha from California as I land from a magical trip to Hawaii. I wanted to share a moment that occurred as I walked randomly by a local beach in the town of Kapaa. I felt called to sit on a narrow stretch of sand by the ocean, to connect to it and listen to its whispers. It reminded me of one of the origins of Orgasmic shamanism which is the connection to land. Orgasmic shamanism is a practice of energetic transmission which is informed by concepts of somatic ...
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The Teachings Come No one can teach us sensuality. It is innate within each of us and is unveiled as we get intimate with ourselves. No one can teach us the wisdom we will share with others. It is unique to each of us and it will find us when it’s time. No one can teach us abundance. We will learn it by experiencing deep loss. No one can teach you how to love and be loved. Because intrinsically we are love. For years, I had amazing teachers in various modalities but the real teachings ...
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When our shadows sing Exploring the gifts of our sexual shame. Our wounds, shadows and demons are not simply here to make our lives hell. They will often, almost always, come bearing gifts. They will behave like arrows pointing towards the places where love is needed within us. They are not just meant to be healed and tolerated. They will show us what is needed by us to awaken more wholeness and truth. The process will have a ripple effect that can impact various areas of our lives. ...
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The radical act of taking space. Here is a second video excerpt from my recent conversation with the amazing Kaelan Strouse. In this video, I talk about the importance of turning inwards, a radical act in a world that functions on us relying on what surrounds us. Our world is craving innovation. All of us can be innovators when we take the time to turn inwards, dive deep, and listen to the great wisdom that arises. See this 8-min video to find out more. You can also see the full video here: ...
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The radical edge of tantra This video is an excerpt from a conversation with the amazing Kaelan Strouse. What I call the radical edge of tantra is the places where we go deep, to the parts of ourselves that scare us, where we meet our dark edges. See this 8-min video to find out more. You can also see the full video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKutIFyYPdY Also, check out my upcoming events below. 🙂 [smartslider3 slider="1098"]
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RECLAIMING POWER Power is a big topic. Especially when working with sexuality, even more, when working with facilitators, many of whom are working with sexuality. For me, the theme of owning my power has been one I have struggled with for a long time. In my business, I often feared being too much of a "boss" for fear of being a tyrant. As a result, I was continuously compromising and holding back, which made me feel victimised. My inner tyrant would then emerge erratically and ...
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POSTED 11 MARCH 2022 THE EROTIC POWER OF A SWEDISH MASSAGE If you would like to witness some massage techniques that can bring about some high intensity pleasure, you're probably going to want to check out this video of our instructor, Artie, using a Swedish technique to take Griffin Barrows right to the edge and then all the way past it. Artie is the Taoist Masseur. With over 12 years of experience, and having trained in Brazil, the Netherlands, and the UK, Artie’s massage sessions draw on ...
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Awakening grounding and sensations A somatic practice In this short video, I share some somatic therapy practice elements that are the most foundational to the work I do. They relate to grounding and increasing our awareness of sensations: two of the most important starting points for a healing journey. 1- Feeling sensations more deeply. As I feel my body's sensations more fully, I get a stronger sense of who I truly am, of my truth. This allows me to gain an awareness of my ...
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This is part 2 of the 3-part Medicine of Eros video series.
In video 1, we reclaimed Eros, exploring it as a transformative process that takes me back to the oneness I am.
In this video, part 2, we start to look at how we can apply these concepts to begin the process of achieving transformation with Eros.
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What is Eros? Generally, we have learned to relate Eros to sex and love, it is from which the Erotic arises, Eros is mainly recognised the Greek God of love, sensuality, passion, sex. In earlier greek mythology, however Eros was known as one of the primordial Gods. The primordial Gods, are the ones who related to the coming into form of the formless, the creation of all life. An easy way to grasp this concept is by visualising our universe in two parts, the local and the non-local. ...
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3- After visiting some temples in Bangkok, I found myself experiencing an initiatory rite, a state unlike any I had ever encountered before. For hours I experienced spontaneous movements and sounds that were moving through me. I trembled, writhed and chanted uncontrollably. I was accessing a realm of the unseen.
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Your erotic Shadow - Lecture 1 - First 10 minutes OVERVIEW What is shadow work? How do we process it? How does it relate to Eros, sexuality, energy work and shamanism? This video shares the first 10 minutes of the Erotic Shadow online course and series. You will get a brief introduction on what is the shadow, what is the benefit of overcoming it, how it relates to energy work, shamanism and how it relates to Eros. I hope you enjoy it and it resonates. If you would like to go further ...
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The wound is the place where the light enters you - Naked poetry reading- “I said: what about my eyes? He said: Keep them on the road. I said: What about my passion? He said: Keep it burning. I said: What about my heart? He said: Tell me what you hold inside it? I said: Pain and sorrow. He said: Stay with it. The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi
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Erotic inspirations part 1- Lecture In this 15 minute video, I share about how ancient civilisations considered eros and sexual energy our most creative energy, a potent tool for our personal growth. The practice videos, parts 2-5, are available to paid members of the site. Try a 7-day free trial here: https://orgasmicshaman.com/tutorial-subscription/
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An introduction to orgasmic shamanism. Orgasmic shamanism is a mystery practice. A process of self-discovery and personal transformation inspired by the legacy of ancient civilisations.
At times it can be radical and gruelling, at other times it can be subtle and highly pleasurable.
It might throw us into a pitch-black room for days to experience a conceptual death, invite us to explore or re-enact our most shameful sexual fantasies, or simply call us to sit in complete stillness and ...
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